Wow, I haven't used this thing in apparently a very long time! I just spent a really long time (time that should have been spent writing a paper) going through old posts from the last two years. It's really crazy to observe where I was and where I am now...two very different places. Anyone else ever go back and read their old posts and reflect on them?

It's so good to be home! I knew that once I left for college, I was going to miss home, but I didnt realize that I would miss it this much. I finished finals week exhausted, but I think on a good note :) I'm definitely not looking forward to more of those!

I learned a lot this week. I'm learning a lot about myself, about who I am, and what I have to offer. I've been incredibly frusterated with myself lately and how I can be so selfish. That frusteration allowed satan to get a tight foot hold on me which allowed me to become very vulnerable to his lies. Lies like "I have nothing to offer anyone, so I should just be quiet, I am not good enough, If I allow him to see too much of my heart, he'll break it, I am not beautiful in any aspect, Other girls do this (fill in the blank) better so I should give up." There were many more, but some are kind of personal. These lies aren't true. I find it easy to recognize that these are lies, but it's very difficult for me to believe them. I've really been working on taking these thoughts captive and believing them and seeing them as Christ sees me. It's going to take time.

I'm also learning that anything good that I have to offer doesn't come from me. Any characteristic of myself, anything attractive about me or my heart, has nothing to do with me. God has given me those gifts and beauties. Several times in the last couple of weeks, I've wanted to just give up. I felt like I had anything left to offer anyone because I felt like what I was offering was constantly being rejected. So then I'd give up, and get frusterated with my selfishness for giving up. But last night I was thinking, the things that I am offering to people, love, encouragement, my heart and vulnerability, compassion, whatever it may be, are all gifts from God. He is using me to distrubite those gifts to the children he loves. So who am I to stop giving them, to stop letting his love flow from my heart? The past couple of weeks have been filled with a lot of emotions: joy, hurt, timidity, laughter, and even though it's been tough, I thank God for holding tight to me. I thank God for his patience with the inadequate woman that I am.

If anyone has thoughts or comments, I would love to hear back from you all! I pray that you are each enjoying the Season of Love,and sharing God's love with those around you.

 This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!

Two are better than one,
       because they have a good return for their work: 

 If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls 
       and has no one to help him up!

    JOY

Friends